Women

Original Names for Girls

Purplish flowery things.

“A rose by any other name . . .” —Someoneorother It’s not easy to think of a good, original name. I mean, with almost 1000 years of the English language behind us, there just aren’t that many names that haven’t already been taken. But for those of you looking for a truly original feminine name, […]

USBSM Introduces Larger Inches to Match Expanding Waistlines

The ‘inflation’ of women’s dress sizes is old news.1 However, until recently, men have had to suffer the indignity of seeing their pants size increase, even as their wives’ dress size has decreased. The United States Bureau of Sizes and Measurements (USBSM) has—finally—made a move to address this distressing situation. Since men’s clothes are measured […]

G. K. Chesterton on Beer

It is now an established fact that all human motive and action is due to Beer; not merely among adults but also among children. The whole life of a child (of either sex) is actuated by Beer. The first action of which a child is capable is a lusty yell; we have established that this […]

Appliance Repair

Have you ever noticed that large appliance repairs usually happen in the middle of the night? If you have noticed this, you have probably wondered what it is about the smallest hours of the night that causes you to find yourself with your stove or dishwasher scattered around your kitchen in fifty-seven pieces? Ever tireless […]

President Obama named Woman of the Year

The orchid awarded to the Woman of the Year

The National Women’s Society voted this month to honor President Barack Obama as the 2014 Woman of the Year. This award, symbolized by a white and pink Phalaenopsis orchid, is the most prestigious and historic award granted by the National Women’s Society, dating back to the beginning of the 20th century and the women’s suffrage […]

Marketing Strategies for Father’s Day

A Father's Day Power Tool

Flying News investigative reporter Ryan Rocifero has discovered that, in preparation for father’s day, VeryManlyTools® Co. has adopted a unique marketing strategy in its retail outlets. “Market researchers at VeryManlyTools found,” Rocifero reports, “that women were discouraging their husbands from buying expensive power tools. They deliberately sought for, and managed to find, a strategy to […]

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