Sport

Secrets of the Ancients: Why Chaucer Couldn’t Spell

What thought, dear reader, flits first across the surface of your mind when you find yourself in the presence of such words as these: Hir coverchiefs ful fyne weren of ground; I dorste swere they weyeden ten pound That on a Sonday weren upon hir heed. Hir hosen weren of fyn scarlet reed, Ful streite […]

Professional Sports Teams To Issue Driver’s Licenses

Americans were surprised, but almost unanimously pleased, to find that President Barack Obama (PBO) had signed an Executive Order (EO) yesterday authorizing Professional Sports Teams (PSTs) to issue Driver’s Licenses (DLs). Sandy Bulleyts, an avid Browns fan from Cleveland, OH, told Flying News reporter Ryan Rocifero about her reaction on hearing the news: Well, you […]

Move Over Curling, Here Comes Flailing

A new sport is vying for attention on the world scene, and its proponents are challenging The Powers That Be to include it, rather than Curling, in the next Winter Olympics. The sport is called Flailing, and, like Curling, is normally played on ice, with special shoes (coincidentally called “ice shoes”). However, some players practice […]

Moby (aka Cell Phone) Hacky Sack

Foot kicking a cell phone.

With the continual release of new models of mobile telephones and the subsequent drop in value of any model more than two months old, young people have found a new use for an otherwise useless chunk of circuitry. The old

How to Tell a Donkey from a Bicycle

Do you ride a donkey to work while your next-door neighbour takes a bicycle? Do you find yourself spending way too much time each morning trying to determine which is which, so you don’t accidentally mount his bike and leave your donkey? Well, here we explain the subtle differences between a donkey and a bike, […]

Tooth Decay with Interruptions from the World Cup

Image in public domain. Original available at http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Football_%28soccer_ball%29.svg.

The following is sponsored by Twizzlers: “Twizzlers! It’s what the 5th dentist recommends.”   The Flying News: Transcribed Video Edition: Thank you for allowing us to waste several more minutes of your time! Yesterday, in an exclusive interview, we will have sat down with the one out of five dentists who prefers tooth decay over […]

Gender Controversy at ‘Muggle’ Quidditch World Cup

At the North-East U.S. Quidditch Regional Finals last month, the Montpelier (VT) Marauders set off an international controversy by fielding 7 players who, to look at them, all seemed to be male, each one claiming to be of a different ‘gender’. “A little strange,” you might think, “but hardly major sports news, even for quidditch […]

UUTC Patents Sphere

The newest in a string of controversial patents is Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation (UUTC) application for a patent on the sphere. While the patent has not yet been granted, the application itself causes difficulties for a wide number of sphere users, both industrial and recreational. In particular, a number of sphere-manipulating sports would find themselves […]

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