Music

Happy Birthday Named National Anthem of Cyprus

Foreign eggman

The Republic of Cyprus recently went through an extensive period of revisionist history, the latest revision being the national anthem. For the last so many years,1 Cyprus has shared the national anthem of Greece, Hymn to Liberty. But lately, Cypriots voted to switch to Happy Birthday as their new national anthem. Hymn to Liberty is […]

How 1 Song Cost Me £Thousands$

Twenty Dollar Bill by John Haberle, 1890

Now, I may not live in “America,” but I think I’m pretty good at counting money, whether it’s in dollar bills, or pounds, shillings, pence, ha’pennies, farthings, etc, etc, etc. . . . (By the way, I still got me a few two bob bits, but the darned old curiosity shop in town won’t take […]

Random Word Replacement Keeps Music Lovers Interested

“Music is boring!” This was the conclusion that Gene Walton came to after a summer spent as a lifeguard. Instead of giving up and spending the rest of his free time studying geometry, Walton decided to take action: he invented the Waltonizer, a small device that randomly replaces words in music of any genre. His […]

The Python

The Python     A Python I should not advise,— It needs a doctor for its eyes, And has the measles yearly.       However, if you feel inclined To get one (to improve your mind, And not from fashion merely),     Allow no music near its cage; And when it flies into […]

How Do Opera Singers Hold Their Notes So Long?

Have you ever wondered how opera singers hold their notes for such a long time? If you ask a voice teacher, you are liable to receive answers such as “lung capacity,” “breath support,” or “resonance.” If you perform an internet search, you might get a response like “they squeeze a quarter between their buttocks,” and […]

What Everybody Wants

Thoughts on the Meaning of Life from Retro Pop Music I’ve been brushing up on my 80’s and early 90’s music while pondering the meaning of life, and came up with the following: In 1985, Tears For Fears sang “Everybody wants to rule the world.” A couple years later, in 1987, Love and Rockets sang “Everybody […]

Toledo Resident Celebrates Christmas 2016 in 2015

Catherine Sullivan, resident of Toledo, Ohio, has decided to celebrate Christmas 2018 in 2017. At The Flying News, we don’t usually get around to celebrating until December 24th, so we sent Ryan Rocifero to investigate this phenomenon. Catherine Sullivan: Around here, if you haven’t started celebrating Christmas by mid-November, you’re a loser. It used to […]

The Battle of El-Teb

Ye sons of Great Britain, I think no shame To write in praise of brave General Graham! Whose name will be handed down to posterity without any stigma, Because, at the battle of El-Teb, he defeated Osman Digna. With an army about five thousand strong, To El-Teb, in the year 1884, he marched along, And […]

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