Magic

Book Review: Last Night I Was A Magic Marker

Mudd, Jerry Q. Last Night I Was A Magic Marker. Northern South Dakota University Press, 2017, 3.14 pp., $15.92 hardcover. Last Night I Was A Magic Marker attempts to combine the magic of the Harry Potter series with the surrealism of Roald Dahl. Unfortunately, it fails, and fails completely. For starters, the illustrations (which compose […]

The Frog King

In olden times, when wishing still helped one, there lived a king whose daughters were all beautiful, but the youngest was so beautiful that the sun itself, which has seen so much, was astonished whenever it shone in her face. Close by the King’s castle lay a great dark forest, and under an old lime-tree […]

Square Files Protest With International Steak Naming Association

The square has officially filed a protest with the International Steak Naming Association (ISNA), calling the fact that there is no square steak a “grave injustice.” Rumors allege that the square initially attempted to convince the pentagon to join it in protesting. The pentagon, reportedly, was content with “enjoying exalted status in the worlds of […]

On Waking and Rising

Moo.

Have you ever got up in the morning, put on your hat to go out, and realised it’s too small? Then you measure the circumference of your head, only to find that it’s an inch larger than when you measured it the day before? I hate when that happens. More News: How to Tell a […]

Technological Breakthrough Allows Higher Proofs and Percentages

You may have heard that it is impossible to distill alcohol to greater than 95.6% (191.2 proof). This is true, although reverse osmosis and molecular sieves can bring alcohol up to a full 100% concentration (200 proof).1 Now, however, new advances in technology have made possible even higher concentrations of alcohol. Albert Säufer, who invented […]

The Flying News: Suggested Uses

If you have been a devoted reader of The Flying News for any length of time, you may, in your spare moments, have caught yourself wondering something like this: “Why am I reading this stuff?” Well, really, that’s something to be kept between you and your psychologist. If, on the other hand, you’d like to […]

Industrial Solutions for Miniscule Problems

Industrial Miniscule™ is a new company with a bold mission: to provide “industrial solutions for miniscule problems.” In a 1 February press release detailing the company’s plans for market dominance, CEO Mark Kram said, This is the sort of company America has been waiting for. In fact, it’s the company the world has been waiting […]

A New Diet Scheme Based on Relativity

By Lauro Chieza de Carvalho(adaptação) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

There are some people out there who would do just about anything to lose weight: pills, surgery, deliberately infecting yourself with tapeworms, and even, in some extreme cases, dieting and exercise. Thanks to science—specifically, thanks to mass-energy equivalence as developed within Einstein’s theory of special relativity—it is possible to lose weight without any of these […]

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