Letters to the Editors

The trees knees

Dear Vim Vocifero, I read your article on Vegan Cows, and I’d like to purchase one. Do you know where to get them? Sincerely, Janet Dear Janet (if that’s your real name), Unfortunately, I don’t think the cows are for sale to individuals. Usually, these sort of companies license their bio-products to large-scale farms that […]

Gender Controversy at ‘Muggle’ Quidditch World Cup

At the North-East U.S. Quidditch Regional Finals last month, the Montpelier (VT) Marauders set off an international controversy by fielding 7 players who, to look at them, all seemed to be male, each one claiming to be of a different ‘gender’. “A little strange,” you might think, “but hardly major sports news, even for quidditch […]

Arbitrary Alphabet in New Kindergarten Curriculum

A bunch of letters with subliminal messages.

A new kindergarten curriculum introduced this school year in certain cities in certain countries requires the children to learn their alphabet both forwards (starting with A) and backwards (starting with Zed). The reason? To teach children the real meaning of letters rather than their order. Children who learn the typical alphabet song often end up […]

The Imp rtance f the Letter ” “

Alphabet with missing letter

Objection 1: It would seem that the Letter “O” is unnecessary in the English language, or perhaps,¬†for that matter, any language. It is neither one of the most common vowels nor does it take any effort to pronounce. In fact, it is often used for useless expressions of grumbling and complaint. Therefore, it must not […]

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