Law

Lines In Protest To The Dundee Magistrates

Fellow citizens of Bonnie Dundee Are ye aware how the magistrates have treated me? Nay, do not stare or make a fuss When I tell ye they have boycotted me from appearing in Royal Circus, Which in my opinion is a great shame, And a dishonour to the city’s name. Fellow citizens, I consider such […]

Man Sues State of South Carolina for Speciesism

A couple of years back, the Massachusetts Supreme Court heard the case of Jane Doe v. State of Massachusetts, in which a woman who had been ticketed for HOV lane violation successfully maintained that the company of her three dogs made her car a high occupancy vehicle and that any claims to the contrary were […]

Supreme Court Rules EULA Invalid Without Legal Counsel

Have you ever involuntarily sold your eldest child, your soul, or your prize poodle Fritzy?1 If so, chances are roughly 1.3242579 x 10A Very Large Number to 1 that you did so by signing a Computer Software License (EULA). Our astute readers will already have realized that these agreements are carefully designed by behavioral psychologists […]

Declaration of Independence to Display Ads

It appears that the United States of America has a fairly large national debt. How large? Estimates place the figure somewhere in excess of eighteen trillion dollars. Since this debt is so large, we’ve been wondering, here in the central office of The Flying News, how we can get some of that money. At least, […]

Affordable Care Act Requires Flossing Twice a Day

Some old document.

A Harvard law student recently discovered a section of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, hitherto unknown, which requires all Americans over the age of 14 to floss twice a day. While working on his PhD dissertation, which covers only a portion of the some four million pages of the health care law, Samuel […]

“Rosa Parks Man” Refuses to Give Up Seat on Bus

Last week, a bus driver politely asked a middle-aged man to give up his seat at the front of a crowded Chicago bus for a woman in the late stages of pregnancy. The man caused quite a stir when he refused, accompanying his refusal with a self-righteous tirade on civil rights and the defence of […]

Robber Blamed for Motorists’ Collision

When George M. McCloskey held up a convenience store with a banana, he had no idea that he would be sued for causing a massive, three-car collision. Late one night, McCloskey entered a convenience store in Grove City, Ohio. He stuck a banana into the small of the clerk’s back, demanding “Your money or your […]

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