Justice

Intellectual Property In The Corporate World

Oppressive company policy.

All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The […]

Square Files Protest With International Steak Naming Association

The square has officially filed a protest with the International Steak Naming Association (ISNA), calling the fact that there is no square steak a “grave injustice.” Rumors allege that the square initially attempted to convince the pentagon to join it in protesting. The pentagon, reportedly, was content with “enjoying exalted status in the worlds of […]

Transgendered Marijuana

Gender Equality for Weed Your typical plant has two sexes (male and female), and marijuana, Cannabis sativa,1 is no exception. For most plants, this simple biological fact isn’t a big deal, but it just so happens that in the case of marijuana, there is a definite prejudice in favor of the female sex. The explanation […]

MAA Defines Terminal Illness

In a formal proclamation yesterday, the Medical Association of America (MAA) officially announced a new definition of terminal illness. This new definition states that ‘Terminal illness’ shall be hereafter defined as any condition, state, or way of being which is certain to be followed by death after any definite or indefinite period of time. Tiffany […]

Domestic Terrorists Target Un-American Food

"Misawa takoyaki," U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Marie Brown. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons. Detail.

What Makes a Food Truly American? This is the question that eaters, restaurant owners, and food producers are asking themselves in the wake of another regrettable example of American extremism. A terrorist group identifying itself as True American Eaters recently claimed responsibility for a series of attacks on eateries and other food-related businesses deemed ‘Un-American’. […]

Gender Controversy at ‘Muggle’ Quidditch World Cup

At the North-East U.S. Quidditch Regional Finals last month, the Montpelier (VT) Marauders set off an international controversy by fielding 7 players who, to look at them, all seemed to be male, each one claiming to be of a different ‘gender’. “A little strange,” you might think, “but hardly major sports news, even for quidditch […]

A Motorists Creed

Credo I believe in petroleum distillate. I believe that an expensive car enhances sexual fitness. That a car’s horsepower directly correlates to intelligence. That the larger your car is, the better you are. That if you pick your nose in your own car, nobody can see you. That I can drive safely while drunk, texting, […]

600 Pound Dog Banned from Multi-User Path

Irene Campbell is protesting a ban prohibiting dogs weighing more than 500 pounds on paved multi-user and bicycle paths. The ban was issued by the Walpole, Massachusetts department of Parks and Recreation. Erik L. Hernandez, spokesman for Parks and Recreation explains: Just as heavy trucks cause disproportionate wear of public roads and are prohibited in […]

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