Humour

Folger Shakespeare Library Closing Down

A number of old books and some writing instruments.

Rumour has it that the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, D.C. (USA) is preparing to close its doors—shut down—for good.1 The American people can thank a savvy young intern, barely out of university, who recently discovered a clever money-saving technique that somehow slipped by all previous librarians. So what is this discovery which makes the […]

Recent Letters to the Editor

A prestigous honour for The Flying News

Here at The Flying News Headquarters, we’re hard pressed to keep up with all the mail we receive. But once in a while, we try to answer a few of the questions people ask us, even if they’re mostly stupid questions. After all, we truly value our readers . . . and their pets. Hopefully […]

Book Review: Welcome to the Internet

Man 1: Read any good books lately?

Redmund, Ronald. Welcome to the Internet: Just When You Thought There Were Too Many Books to Read in a Lifetime. Electropop Books, Ltd., 1992. 233 pp., £19.92 (Hardcover). The newest book from Electropop Books, Ltd., Ronald Redmund’s 1992 Welcome to the Internet: Just When You Thought There Were Too Many Books to Read in a […]

FLYING NEWS EMERGENCY NOTICE

TO ALL FLYING NEWS PERSONNEL, BOTH NECESSARY AND ANCILLARY (INCLUDING VIM): This is an emergency. All Personnel report to the front office immediately.1 Don’t Panic! Run, do not walk. Wear slip-resistant shoes. Remove all jewellery and loose clothing. Deposit jewellery with the burglar at the second floor fire escape. Proceed with caution to the third […]

A Few Verses for Bakers

A four-tier wedding cake, looks like chocolate and coconut flavour.

If you like baking, here are some suave, romantic verses of poetry to use on a sweet, plump, little cutie-pie, if one should come your way. Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is cheap and so are you. Roses are red Violets are blue Butter is fat and so are you. Roses are red […]

A Tiger and a Killer Bee whose Home was a Cedar

A cat flying with a honeybee under a palm tree in the sunshine.

Once upon a time, there was a tall, majestic Cedar. Except it wasn’t really a cedar, and it wasn’t really very tall or majestic; it was more of a middle-sized palm tree. But this palm tree was named Cedar. Under this palm tree named Cedar lived a ferocious Tiger. Except it was not so much […]

Family Board Game Promotes Child Marriage, Rule-Breaking

Board game cover showing young girl wearing wedding ring.

In his never-ending search for secret knowledge and the wisdom of the ages, Ryan Rocifero has unearthed an artefact of the 1980s board game industry which demonstrates a propagandistic push for the reintroduction of child marriage into Western society. Pictured on the front of the board game’s box is a girl who looks to be […]

Intellectual Property In The Corporate World

Oppressive company policy.

All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The […]

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