Health

Health and Beauty: Walrus Milk

A Walrus: , available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Noaa-walrus22.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Noaa-walrus22.jpg.

WALRUS MILK: New directions for an old drink: Walrus milk has long been a favorite drink of baby walruses, but only in recent months has this high-fat drink exploded into widespread popularity as a nutritional supplement. With a fat content as high as 30%, walrus milk, proponents claim, helps prevent dried out and flaky skin […]

Incredible Edible Weeds

Edible weeds

Not enough money for a stomach implant yet? No problem. The Edible Weed Eaters Society (EWES), a grassroots organisation which promotes eating edible weeds, estimates that we are currently wasting—yes, wasting—91% of the edible vegetation in our yards and gardens. If we realised the benefits of these perfectly digestible delights of nature, we could supply much […]

Foot Sanitizer™

Photo by Lynn Locifero, © The Flying News, 2014

If you’re worried about germs, you might think that hand sanitizer has you covered. “Not good enough,” says NewChem© Corporation. Why do we think that hand sanitizer is enough? In the ancient world, you washed your feet when you entered a house, and that makes a lot of sense today too. After all, your feet […]

Headache Cures

Alterated from a public domain image by 'Bilboq', available at http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c8/Head.svg.

While decapitation certainly works to cure nearly any headache, in our extensive experience at The Flying News, the side effects are often rather severe, and can include skin disorders, mood swings, and even hyperthyroidism. So, in an effort to promote public health, we have some gentler and more holistic approaches to curing your headache.1 Some […]

New Supermarket Scam

Shoppers Beware! A new scam may have already come to a supermarket near you. In many stores in our country, whole milk, low-fat milk, and skim milk sell for the same price. Cream, however, is much more expensive. It has come to our ever attentive ears that organized crime has developed an ingenious way to […]

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