Fat

How to Fatten Up for the Winter: A Flying News Exclusive

Winter is coming, and it’s coming fast.1 Are you ready? Very likely not. Studies reveal that as many as seven out of every nine Americans are not properly prepared for winter. However, we are here to help. In conjunction with The Society for a Fat America, The Flying News has prepared this handy self-help guide […]

A Few Verses for Bakers

A four-tier wedding cake, looks like chocolate and coconut flavour.

If you like baking, here are some suave, romantic verses of poetry to use on a sweet, plump, little cutie-pie, if one should come your way. Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is cheap and so are you. Roses are red Violets are blue Butter is fat and so are you. Roses are red […]

FBI Recommends Doughnuts for Breakfast

In yet another interesting move by a more or less self-regulated department of American government, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) issued its Official Breakfast Recommendation (OBR) last Sunday, when they ought to have been home for the weekend. The OBR states that, “in order to keep Americans Fat, Dumb, and Happy (FD&H)”, the FBI […]

Jim

Who ran away from his Nurse, and was eaten by a Lion. There was a Boy whose name was Jim; His Friends were very good to him. They gave him Tea, and Cakes, and Jam, And slices of delicious Ham, And Chocolate with pink inside, And little Tricycles to ride, And               read him Stories through […]

USBSM Introduces Larger Inches to Match Expanding Waistlines

The ‘inflation’ of women’s dress sizes is old news.1 However, until recently, men have had to suffer the indignity of seeing their pants size increase, even as their wives’ dress size has decreased. The United States Bureau of Sizes and Measurements (USBSM) has—finally—made a move to address this distressing situation. Since men’s clothes are measured […]

Charles Augustus Fortescue

Charles Augustus Fortescue Who Always Did what was Right, and so Accumulated an Immense Fortune The nicest child I ever knew Was Charles Augustus Fortescue. He never lost his cap, or tore His stockings or his pinafore: In eating Bread he made no Crumbs, He was extremely fond of sums, To which, however, he preferred […]

Some Notes on the Physics of Large Appliance Repair

Given the enthusiastic response of our readers to our recent article on the psychology of large appliance repair, we decided to see if physics has anything interesting to say about the matter. As you no doubt recall, the issue discussed in the earlier story was the statistical correlation between the hours separating midnight and 2:00 […]

Fewer Americans Now Underweight

By Anon. (company producing poster is "J. Morgan & Co., U.S.A.") (Life time: Unknown. Poster dates from between October 1, 1890, and April 22, 1911 (see "A Chronological Outline of the Hanlon Brothers, 1833 - 1931.") [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

While there has been much concern about the increasing—and increasingly increasing—numbers of overweight and obese Americans, a new study sponsored by The Society for a Fat America emphasizes an often overlooked positive effect of this trend towards heavier weight: fewer Americans are now underweight. In fact, the study reports, incidence of underweightedness in this country […]

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