Economy

A New Categorisation of Holidays

A philosopher from the Arctic Circle known as “Jonathan Tallyhoe” has begun a new line of research into the categorisation of cultural holidays and celebratory festivals. Mr. Tallyhoe, who does not hold any authentic PhD’s that we know of,1 claims he is the first to enter into such territory, while following “a time-tested Aristotelian method.” […]

How The Economy Works

Brown jug with sign: If whiskey interferes with your business, give up your business.

We hear a great deal about The Economy in the news, on the radio, on television, on the primary school reading list, and even on candy bar wrappers. But not many people really understand The Economy or how it works. This article will give you the basics and, in fact, all you need to know […]

A Scientific Guide to Doughnuts

When you enter your local doughnut shop, what do you feel? Do you experience confusion? Disorientation? A troubling inability to quickly and efficiently choose the absolutely perfect doughnut? A recent poll1 strongly suggests that such symptoms, collectively known as Doughnut Disorientation Syndrome (DDS), occur in approximately 27.500023 %± 8% of the population at large, both […]

Affordable Care Act Requires Flossing Twice a Day

Some old document.

A Harvard law student recently discovered a section of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, hitherto unknown, which requires all Americans over the age of 14 to floss twice a day. While working on his PhD dissertation, which covers only a portion of the some four million pages of the health care law, Samuel […]

Water Fountain Cameras

A water fountain, dutifully spouting water

Ever noticed the little cameras on some water fountains, just under or behind the spray guard? Even wonder what they’re for? Worldwide Water Fountains (WWF), a supplier and servicing company, says it began installing cameras on school water fountains in 1980 to combat the growing trend of water fountain vandalism, to which many of their […]

Nude Flights Save Weight, Fuel

Antarctica Air announced that, beginning April 8th, all passengers will be required to fly nude. Lewis Day, Vice President for Finance, explains that this policy will decrease fuel use, increase airline profits, and allow the airline to sell tickets at significantly lower cost: Every year, we spend millions of dollars buying tens of millions of […]

Forever Dollar to Enter U.S. Currency

Forever Dollar design

Following on the popularity of the Forever Stamp sold by the United States Postal Service, the United States Treasury announced that it will introduce the “Forever Dollar” into the American currency system. Like the stamps which can be used for first class letter postage both now and in eternity, the Forever Dollar will be immune […]

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