Doughnuts

Have a Desert for Dessert

Desserts in the Desert

A Desert for Dessert? A common spelling mistake in the English language is to confuse the spelling of dessert with that of desert, and desert with that of dessert. For example, I once had a manufactured appliance whose label called it The Great American Desert Machine. I never could get that thing to make any […]

Scientists Detect the End of the World

You may, possibly, have heard rumors that, according to the Mayan—or perhaps the Egyptian or Babylonian—calendar, the world was to have ended a couple of years ago. You may also have concluded that these claims, predictions, or whatever-you-want-to-call-them were probably false. After all, the supply of beer hasn’t given out, interests rates have stayed low, […]

Extra! Extra!

On September 14th, The Flying News will publish its Twentieth Anniversary Edition. Just to give you a taste of the excitement this event is causing in the headquarters of The Flying News, we have here an exclusive interview with long-time Flying News staffer, Stijn Stocifero The Flying News: So, Stijn, what’s it like preparing for […]

Bane in the Olitory?

A Narrative of Personal Occurences Good morrow, readers. While not the ordinary type of intelligence encountered here, you may be interested in a thing that passed me lately. Whilst looking for something esculent in my olitory one day last sennight, I found a few doughnuts that were a little over-ripe, that is, past their prime. […]

A Scientific Guide to Doughnuts

When you enter your local doughnut shop, what do you feel? Do you experience confusion? Disorientation? A troubling inability to quickly and efficiently choose the absolutely perfect doughnut? A recent poll1 strongly suggests that such symptoms, collectively known as Doughnut Disorientation Syndrome (DDS), occur in approximately 27.500023 %± 8% of the population at large, both […]

Anatomy of the Doughnut

Since doughnuts are such an important topic of conversation in contemporary society, it is of great importance for all of us to refer to the doughnut’s parts, vital and otherwise, with accurate terminology. If, for example, you were to incautiously refer to the doughnut’s concavitas medialis as its ‘hole’, you would undoubtedly fail to impress. […]

Parents Bill Teacher for Child’s Cavities

Ludington, Wisconsin: When Amy Whatley, aged six, came home from the dentist with fourteen cavities, her parents sent the bill to the kindergarten teacher, Ms. Holzman. Amy’s mother, Louisa Whatley, explained that: For a girl who has never in her life had even one cavity to come home all of a sudden with fourteen cavities? […]

Book Review: The Eater’s Guide to the Doughnut

Judd, Terry N. The Eater’s Guide to the Doughnut: The Doughnut as Inspiration for Life, Love, Happiness, and Transcendent Communion with the Universe. Northern South Dakota University Press, 2015, 624.6 pp., $47.55 vellum. As a general rule, I like books. Most of them are compact, many are portable, and nearly all are still legible after […]

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