Death

Weapons of Mass Destruction—Postmodern Adaptations

Do you remember the days when you could just walk into a store and buy a jar—no questions asked, no dirty looks, no waiver, no ID, no restrictions. Of course, back in those days—the days when we thought peanut butter was an innocent and entirely harmless food—we used to be unenlightened. Now we’re so much […]

Horoscopes for the Superstitious

Two awards are better than one!

Aries: You will receive an unwelcome visitor, most likely arriving by air. Taurus: In the dead of night, if you’re not asleep, you should be. Gemini: Your future is entirely unpredictable. Cancer: Yes, still sick. Try radiation. Lego: Traumatic brain injury foils your plans for afternoon tea. But there’s always tomorrow. Virgo: To save money […]

A Typical, Everyday Ethical Dilemma

Stop sign for the hearing impaired.

Since I consider myself a bit of an amateur philosopher1 (even if of above average intelligence—that is, above the average intelligence of the average amateur philosopher), today I’d like to introduce you to a hearty helping of good, sound, amateur philosophy. For now, we shall cover just the basics, dear Watson: an everyday scenario that […]

Slow Boot Time of “Smart Bullets” Leads to Increased Bayonet Use

T93 Sniper Rifle, © SP Lee, used with permission. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:T93_sniper_rifle.jpg. This picture is not of a "smart" weapon, but you can imagine that it might be.

The introduction of the “smart bullet” a few years back was intended to allow soldiers to kill enemies with greater precision. Confidential sources report that the “smart bullet 3.14” is due to enter service later this year. This redesigned, next-generation weapon will increase accuracy to the extent that the army will be able to completely […]

Matilda

Who told Lies, and was Burned to Death Matilda told such Dreadful Lies, It made one Gasp and Stretch one’s Eyes; Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth, Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth, Attempted to Believe Matilda: The effort very nearly killed her, And would have done so, had not She Discovered this […]

The Tay Bridge Disaster

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay! Alas! I am very sorry to say That ninety lives have been taken away On the last Sabbath day of 1879, Which will be remember’d for a very long time. ’Twas about seven o’clock at night, And the wind it blew with all its might, And the rain […]

The Burial of the Rev. George Gilfillan

On the Gilfillan burial day, In the Hill o’ Balgay, It was a most solemn sight to see, Not fewer than thirty thousand people assembled in Dundee, All watching the funeral procession of Gilfillan that day, That death had suddenly taken away, And was going to be buried in the Hill o’ Balgay. There were […]

Mensa mea emicat (a Latin poem)

An Aristotelian manuscript

Mensa mea emicat et per domum ambulat. Ergo foedam gladio celeriter exanimo. Translation tips: emico, -are, -micui, -micatum – spring forth, leap up, appear suddenly (1st conjugation) domus, f. – house (4th declension, irregular) ambulo, -are, -avi, -atum – walk (1st conjugation) foedus, -a, -um – loathsome, disgusting, vile, obscene gladius, -i, m. – sword […]

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