Does Your Dog Have a Sleeping Disorder?

Face of sleeping dog

Now that veterinarians get paid almost as much as doctors, the human race has become more concerned about the health of pets. So, when your dog starts barking from his doghouse in the wee hours of the morning, instead of worrying about a possible burglar snooping around the house, you naturally start to wonder, “Does […]

Some Statistics You Might Find Interesting

Largest number of simultaneous nose pickers: 1,293,2991 How often the average American™ belches: 17 times per day2 Average age at which the average American™ finds a permanent full-time job: 33.45 years3 Number of bubbles in a glass of beer: 12,394,1294 Percentage of those under twenty who value their Playstation more than their parents: 74.3%5 Percentage […]

The Python

The Python     A Python I should not advise,— It needs a doctor for its eyes, And has the measles yearly.       However, if you feel inclined To get one (to improve your mind, And not from fashion merely),     Allow no music near its cage; And when it flies into […]

Converting Units of Horses to Cows

Headless camel.

Dear The Flying News, How do you convert between units of horses and cows? Would it be correct to use their respective weights, the amount they eat, the cost of purchase, the weight of meat alone (lean or full-fat?), or meat plus gallons of milk produced? The reason I need to know is that I […]

A Tiger and a Killer Bee whose Home was a Cedar

A cat flying with a honeybee under a palm tree in the sunshine.

Once upon a time, there was a tall, majestic Cedar. Except it wasn’t really a cedar, and it wasn’t really very tall or majestic; it was more of a middle-sized palm tree. But this palm tree was named Cedar. Under this palm tree named Cedar lived a ferocious Tiger. Except it was not so much […]

The Porcupine

          What! would you slap the Porcupine? Unhappy child—desist! Alas! that any friend of mine Should turn Tupto-philist.1 To strike the creature To strike the meanest and the least Of creatures is a sin, With prickes on its skin How much more bad to beat a beast With prickles on its skin. Pictures […]

A Bovine Named Horse

Triplane image based on a public domain image by Dryke, available at

There once was a bovine named Horse, who shunned all her sisters with force. She dressed all in silk, and she wouldn’t give milk, so her beef it became the main course. More News: A Triplet of Limericks Instant, Personalised Thank You Letters A Tiger and a Killer Bee whose Home was a Cedar Pete […]

The Vulture

The Vulture eats between his meals, And that’s the reason why As well as you or I He very, very rarely feels As well as you and I. His eye is dull, his head is bald, His neck is growing thinner. Oh! what a lesson for us all To only eat at dinner! Pictures by […]

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