FAQ

A Walrus: , available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Noaa-walrus22.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Noaa-walrus22.jpg.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why Should I Read The Flying News?

There are as many good answers as there are readers. For some, reading The Flying News is just a great way to keep up with the latest and most important developments in such crucial areas as rock music at professional conferences, the importance of the ancient philosopher Heraclitus for modern digital technology, and the breeding of pet alligators. For others, The Flying News is a vital source of recipes and lifestyle advice. For our most devoted readers, however, The Flying News provides a new and improved outlook on life. George N. Hendricks, of Long Beach, California, has this to say about the effect of The Flying News:

It used to be that I’d come home in the evening and, despite all my best intentions and strongest resolutions, I’d overdose, totally overdose, on doughnuts. This wasn’t only a Friday-and-Saturday-night kind of thing. It was every day, seven nights of the week, fifty-four weeks in the year. I’d wake up the next morning, not knowing where I was, with no idea what I’d been doing all night, and with the most terrific throbbing hangover.

But now, after becoming a devoted reader of The Flying News, my life is transformed. Every morning, I spring out of bed like Athena springing forth from the mighty head of Zeus, shouting challenges: “The Flying News,” I cry. Every nerve in my body stands up straight and quivers with vigor.

I can’t tell you how immensely grateful I am for this tremendous beneficial upheaval in my life. I don’t know how to even begin to express my thanks.

How large is your staff?

About 5 1/2 ft long, good size for walking.

Does anyone actually read this stuff?

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Public domain image. Available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:G._K._Chesterton.jpg#mediaviewer/File:G._K._Chesterton.jpg.

Gilbert Keith Chesterton, age 39 (1913)

Where did the name The Flying News come from?

We adapted the name of a book by G. K. Chesterton, The Flying Inn.

Is The Flying News really better than ice cream?

Yes.

How do you guys make money?

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If BFA stands for “Bachelor of Fine Arts,” what does BFF stand for?

This is quite a philosophical question, and one which we were just debating in a rather heated discussion ourselves.

Will one of you be my BFF?

Certainly.

Don’t you think the world would be a better place without you jerks?

While we cannot altogether discount the truth of that statement, we like to think we’re making the best of a bad situation.Headless camel.


Walrus Walrus courtesy of NOAA.
Photo of G. K. Chesterton, public domain, available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:G._K._Chesterton.jpg.
Headless Camel photo by Lynn Locifero.


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