News

A New Categorisation of Holidays

A philosopher from the Arctic Circle known as “Jonathan Tallyhoe” has begun a new line of research into the categorisation of cultural holidays and celebratory festivals. Mr. Tallyhoe, who does not hold any authentic PhD’s that we know of,1 claims he is the first to enter into such territory, while following “a time-tested Aristotelian method.” […]

New Year’s Day

A really tasty-looking three-layer cake!

If you read this before 6 A.M. on New Year’s Day, you’re probably a) up too late, and b) apparently tired of talking to all the people with whom you spent the last few hours. Why not just go to sleep? After all, nothing changes on New Year’s Day. Oh, yes, you might have to […]

Christmas Parties Take Their Toll

Dead man on couch.

Three weeks before Christmas, on 4 December, Mr. Edgar Rolton was pronounced dead after suddenly collapsing at the very end of a festive holiday party. Several friends tried to resuscitate the man, aged 45, while his wife (widow) looked on in utter grief. Paramedics arrived shortly thereafter but even they failed to resuscitate him. The […]

English Town Introduces Dyslexic-Friendly Street Signs

Stop sign that reads SPOT.

Although many precincts cater to physically handicapped citizens with ramps on sidewalks and near building entrances, one portion of the population still feels left out. In fact, mentally handicapped people may even outnumber the physically handicapped, but most do not admit their own existence. But one such handicap, dyslexia, has reached heightened awareness lately, and […]

The Future from the Past

Chart recorder spewing data.

Surprising Predictions from Past Decades Our roving reporter Ryan Rocifero has been roving again, this time in a sort of time-travel exercise. He has spent nearly a fortnight scouring newspaper columns from the beginning of several decades in the first half of the 20th Century, looking for predictions of “what may come in future decades” […]

Write Your Own News Story

Miniature Stonehenge created by miniature Druids thousands of years ago.

Good morning, afternoon, or evening, Flying News Reader! Today we have a special treat for you. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. You get to write your own News Story! Yippee! says the Unsuspecting Reader. So here you go. Fill in the blanks—(as you can see, we’ve provided a few details to make it easier): On_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________. […]

More on the Theme Wedding Theme

Last week, we ran an article exploring the phenomenon of theme weddings. Now, we return to that fertile topic with a list of themes—invaluable if a wedding looms in your future; otherwise merely entertaining. First of all, there’s the Barbarian Theme Wedding: For this wedding, the groom dresses up in skins and hits the bride […]

Theme Weddings

From the very name, you can almost certainly guess what a theme wedding is: a wedding with a theme. “But,” you might be inclined to respond, “so what?” If you don’t have any plans for a wedding in the near future, your unthinking reaction could well be to think that a theme wedding is, in […]

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