News

Tell Us What This Picture Means

HELP US OUT:   In our wanderings, we happened to come across the perplexing image displayed below. The funny thing is, we don’t really understand it. Is it a deeply metaphysical statement? Or perhaps an advertising ploy. It might even be a message from interplanetary visitors. Take a look and tell us what you think. […]

Blurbs for the Depressed

Have you ever wondered . . . about those little cheery quotes on the back of books (sometimes known as blurbs)? Who could possibly be that glowingly gushing? Nobody I know, at any rate (or maybe it’s just the way people behave when I’m around).   . . . Perhaps it’s some kind of drug […]

Letters to the Editors

The trees knees

Dear Vim Vocifero, I read your article on Vegan Cows, and I’d like to purchase one. Do you know where to get them? Sincerely, Janet Dear Janet (if that’s your real name), Unfortunately, I don’t think the cows are for sale to individuals. Usually, these sort of companies license their bio-products to large-scale farms that […]

FDA Approves “Vegan Cows”

In a breakthrough of advanced biotechnology and cunning marketing, Amalgamated Universal Biotech Inc. (AUBI) announced that its Vegan Cow has now been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). AUBI claims that its new product, secretly developed in Hidden Underground Research Labs (HURL), is 100% plant based and suitable for vegan consumption. This news […]

On Buying a Motor Vehicle

Recently,1 I’ve been considering buying a motor vehicle. This makes me quite an expert on motor vehicle purchases—or maybe it just makes me an expert on considering buying a vehicle. Anyway, whether my expertise is a purchasing expertise, or merely a consideration expertise, I’ve managed to break the process of purchasing, or at least of […]

After a Brief Hiatus

A fly on the windscreen.

After a brief hiatus, Vim Vocifero has been found wandering the streets of London, vaguely peering into windows with his spectacles tilted downwards. Instead of turning when greeted, he seems to continue in a more-or-less straight line, inclined to stop only at intervals of a half-second or so, to inquire at one door or another, […]

A New Categorisation of Holidays

A philosopher from the Arctic Circle known as “Jonathan Tallyhoe” has begun a new line of research into the categorisation of cultural holidays and celebratory festivals. Mr. Tallyhoe, who does not hold any authentic PhD’s that we know of,1 claims he is the first to enter into such territory, while following “a time-tested Aristotelian method.” […]

New Year’s Day

A really tasty-looking three-layer cake!

If you read this before 6 A.M. on New Year’s Day, you’re probably a) up too late, and b) apparently tired of talking to all the people with whom you spent the last few hours. Why not just go to sleep? After all, nothing changes on New Year’s Day. Oh, yes, you might have to […]

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