In an astounding breakthrough, scientists at the International University of West Carolina discovered a longstanding case of mistaken identity: The female skeleton known throughout the world as “Lucy” really belonged to “Suzie”!
Three paleontologists, George Kratos, Chiamaka Achieng Afolayan, and Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus, were digging around in Ethiopia. One Tuesday, while listening to “Wake Up Little Susie,” they found a unique clay tablet.
Closer inspection proved that this clay tablet was covered with marks. On examination, the marks turned out to represent a hitherto unknown language dating from prehistoric times.
After much effort, the marks on the tablet were translated. Their message is as follows:
I don’t know why you keep calling me Lucy. She was my little sister—my name is Suzie. And don’t even think about calling me AL288-1. I mean—talk about rude!
This new discovery adds greatly to our understanding of hominid evolution.
“Skeleton and Restoration Model of Lucy,” By Momotarou2012. CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.