My Toes Are So Cold

Not many days ago, I woke in the morning and said to myself: “My toes feel rather cold today.” As I found the sensation somewhat—not excruciatingly, only somewhat—disagreeable, I began to look for a remedy for my discomfort.

First I sought for knowledge. Knowledge (as someone once whispered in my ear) is power, after all, and power might possibly ameliorate the unpleasant perception I was experiencing.

My deep research consisted in entering the following query into a search engine: “Why are my toes cold?” And after a mere .97016 seconds, I was requited with a veritable glut of knowledge. And not just any knowledge—this knowledge was simply fizzing with palpable power. Before I even sat down to breakfast, I knew that I could purchase a plug-in, hand-knitted foot warmer for myself, for only $29.50. And if that was beyond my means (as it was), I could provide myself with “toe-alignment socks” made from “cashmere-like” acrylic for only $16.99. Amazing. You wouldn’t believe how utterly chock-full of power I felt.

So now, I asked myself, what. My toe-alignment socks would take a few days to arrive, and while I was sure they would solve the problem in the long-term, I wanted immediate relief. It had already taken me 2.3009 seconds just to order the socks, after all. So I decided, just for the short-term, to take a hot bath. That ought to keep my feet happy until my socks arrive.


“Distal phalanges of foot08 inferior view,” BodyParts3D by DBCLS. (Polygon data is from BodyParts3D) CC-BY-SA-2.1-jp via Wikimedia Commons.


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