Some Statistics You Might Find Interesting

  • Largest number of simultaneous nose pickers: 1,293,2991
  • How often the average American™ belches: 17 times per day2
  • Average age at which the average American™ finds a permanent full-time job: 33.45 years3
  • Number of bubbles in a glass of beer: 12,394,1294
  • Percentage of those under twenty who value their Playstation more than their parents: 74.3%5
  • Percentage of boys named Leo who were born in the month of August: 47.8%6
  • Length of time it takes a frog named George to escape from an aquarium (named aquarium) with no lid: 5 minutes7
  • Percent of internet publications with typographical errors: 84.79%8
  • Number of Flying News readers who belch while reading The Flying News: 09
  • Ratio between the total gross weight of all living African elephants and the total gross weight of North American men between the ages of 30 and 49: 1 to 27410
  • Frequency with which children under ten years of age ask their parents a question: between 2,384 and 4,592 times per hour11
  • Percentage of these statistics made up by staff members of The Flying News: 100%12
  1. Simultaneity verified to within .03 nanoseconds. Standard terrestrial frame of reference.
  2. To qualify as a belch (as opposed to a burp or eructation), sound produced must exceed 47 db and last at least .7 sec.
  3. Age measured by atomic clock to within .02 seconds/1,000 years.
  4. Lager beer, poured slowly from a 12 oz. bottle into a 10″ tall glass measuring 1.79″ in diameter at the bottom and 2.0037″ at the top, at 12° Celsius, in typical suburban magnetic fields. To be counted as a bubble, the cavity must be more than .04mm in diameter, as determined by ultrasonic measurement.
  5. Children younger than two are not included in this statistic.
  6. Excluded are girls named Leo, boys named Leod, Leon, Leonine, Leonardo, and Lion, and all non-humans.
  7. Based on fifty-seven frog-escape episodes.
  8. Based on an exhaustive survey conducted by the staff of The Flying News on a Tuesday afternoon when we were bored.
  9. This has been verified by sophisticated software known as biscuits (or cookies, in the States).
  10. This ratio was determined by measuring the effect of elephant and human weight on continental drift.
  11. The larger figure applies when the children are awake and their parents are busy.
  12. However, the fact that we made them up in no way affects their accuracy.

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