Family Board Game Promotes Child Marriage, Rule-Breaking

Board game cover showing young girl wearing wedding ring.

In his never-ending search for secret knowledge and the wisdom of the ages, Ryan Rocifero has unearthed an artefact of the 1980s board game industry which demonstrates a propagandistic push for the reintroduction of child marriage into Western society.

Pictured on the front of the board game’s box is a girl who looks to be about 12 years old1 wearing a ring on her left ring finger and smiling gleefully, suggesting that she is already “happily” married. The ring finger of the boy next to her, who could be about the same age or a year or two older, is conspicuously cropped out of the picture, leaving ambiguity as to whether he is her husband or some other relation. Clearly the manufacturer wished to avoid public scrutiny over the promotion of marriage for all young children, while subtly promoting it for at least one out of every three children pictured, especially girls.

A further revelation which dawned on us while studying the photograph alongside the rules of the game is the manufacturer’s promotion of risky behaviour, denoted by the direct rule-breaking shown on the game board. The rules of the game state that, following the first player’s turn, each subsequent player “must form another equation using at least one of the pieces on the board as part of his equation.” Therefore, lone or disconnected equations are not allowed. However, there are four examples of “lone equations” and one set of “disconnected equations” shown on the board, none of which contain any pieces in common with the main set of equations which include the START square. This is an obvious attempt to undermine authority in society, whether from authority figures such as parents (who normally teach their children the rules to games), or from written laws as symbolised by the rules of the game itself.

It may seem that the manufacturer of this game was unsuccessful in its attempt to spread repulsive Eastern traditions like child marriage and contempt for authority into the Western world, but a cursory glance at current trends proves the opposite. Sidewalk chalk, for example, has already been accepted as a “normal” plaything for young children, thus introducing what is technically known as “graffiti”2 to children in neighbourhoods, schools, and even University campuses. Another example is the use of “ponchos”3 instead of Mackintoshes, the traditional English rubber raincoat that you and I wore as children. A poncho is not even a real coat; it is more akin to a mediaeval cloak or a Korean khachi durumagi.

So beware, and don’t be surprised if child marriage becomes the norm again, followed by child divorce and child labour. If board games encourage it, there’s no stopping children from trying it.45


Photograph of ‘SMATH board game cover (copyright 1984 by Pressman Toy Corporation), used for criticism/parody under fair use rules. Photograph by Lynn Locifero, emphasis added.

  1. Confirmed by the fact that she holds the game-piece for the numeral 12 in her hand.
  2. Not an English word, as you can tell.
  3. Again, not an English word.
  4. If you want to buy the 1980s version of the game to indoctrinate young children, it’s currently available on Amazon for $47.48.
  5. The Flying News is not in any way associated or affiliated with Amazon.com, Amazon.net, Amazon.org, Amazon.edu, or Amazon.buyanythingonlineandbuymorethingsyoudontneedforfreeshipping, and does not profit from your purchase of subversive board games (or anything else).

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