Microsoft Introduces New Toilet Paper

Proprietary Toilet Paper Will Be A Technological Revolution, Says Microsoft Chief Of Marketing

At a press conference last Tuesday, Microsoft Chief of Marketing Kahlinka Nussbaum announced that Microsoft Corporation had completed Beta Testing® of a new proprietary brand of toilet paper:

Given the name of our company, breaking into toilet paper seems an obvious step. The other brands may be soft, but we’re the only ones who are Microsoft.

Inside sources inform us that use of this product will require agreeing to a consent form (or EULA) longer than the roll of toilet paper itself.1


“Toiletpapier (Gobran111),” by Brandon Blinkenberg. CC BY 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons. Modified by The Flying News.

  1. Inside sources also report that the water fountains in the Microsoft Office Buildings® require an EULA before being used.

1 Comment

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  1. Jim Jocifero says:

    It might make for some good lavatory reading. Well, maybe not.

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