Extra! Extra!

On September 14th, The Flying News will publish its Twentieth Anniversary Edition.
Just to give you a taste of the excitement this event is causing in the headquarters of The Flying News, we have here an exclusive interview with long-time Flying News staffer, Stijn Stocifero

The Flying News: So, Stijn, what’s it like preparing for the twentieth anniversary of The Flying News?

Stijn Stocifero: Well, you work here too, don’t you? Why are you asking me?

TFN: Because I’m supposed to interview you, idiot. So please–if you don’t answer my questions, this isn’t going to work.

SS: Whose idea was this anyway?

TFN: Vim’s.

SS: Seems like a pretty dumb idea to me.

TFN: I don’t know. But will you please sit still and answer my questions.

SS: How do you mean ‘sit still’? I’m not going anywhere.

TFN: But you keep digging through your pockets. It’s making me nervous.

SS: I’m looking for my toenail clippers.

TFN: Look: let’s try this again. And if you don’t do it right, I punch your head, O.K.? So, Stijn, what’s it like preparing for the twentieth anniversary of The Flying News?

SS: O.K. Well the excitement is palpable. Literally palpable. Yesterday I was heading down to the kitchen, looking for a doughnut, and I stubbed my toe on a big jagged clump of excitement. That’s why I’m trying to find my toenail clippers: I broke my nail.

TFN: Well, that’s fascinating. But do you usually keep toenail clippers in your pocket?

SS: I didn’t use to, but lately I have been, what with all the excitement lying about.

TFN: Have you noticed anything else different?

SS: Well, there are a lot of doughnuts around.

TFN: Is that different?

SS: Not really. Doughnuts have been a really big part of The Flying News since the beginning.

TFN: Have you been a part of The Flying News all that time?

SS: Well, sort of.

TFN: “Sort of”?

SS: Well, when we started out, The Flying News was printed on paper. Then, a year or two ago, we started putting everything on the internet.

TFN: So? What does that have to do with anything?

SS: Well, I was thinking of my favorite cover. One time, the printer printed out a whole issue on the top half of one page. It was great.

TFN: Well, Stijn, since this is a press release, we’d better cut it short. So, thanks for taking the time to meet with me.

SS: Don’t you want to ask me anything about what’s actually going to be in our Twentieth Anniversary Edition?

TFN: Sorry, we’re over our limit already.

SS: But it’s going to be great. We have a horoscope, a column about how your doughnut choices relate to your personality, a technology column–

TFN: STOP!


“Printing Press,” 1829 woodcut by George Baxter. Public Domain via wikimedia commons.


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