Pet Alligators

Scientists in Liverpool, hot on the heels of the well-known Russian case in which foxes were domesticated after 21 generations, have announced that, after 227 generations and 64 years, they have evolved a domesticated alligator. Over the generations their version, dubbed Crocodilius cutenensis, has developed a softer palate, floppy ears, and a non-swinging stub tail. The latter evolution became more of an asset after the Liverpool scientists turned 80 and started collecting menageries of china.

“We think we have created the perfect pet!” writes Nigel McGannis, who lives below the Leeds Street overpass. “Docile, eager to please, and yet formidable enough to scare away nearsighted burglars, what more could you want? It also makes an excellent jogging companion when equipped with roller skates.” When asked if any of the myriad desirable qualities of Alligators were still present in his Gator 2.0, Nigel explained, “Absolutely! Cutenensis will still playfully gator roll through all of your clean bedsheets and eat cats.”

Pet Alligators are still prohibited in all U.S. states.

If you are still using a Commodore 64 or haven’t upgraded your graphics card since The Flying News was originally published, here is a textual interpretation of the picture above:

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Regarding this transcribed photo and the note below, we will try to improve our photographic usage in future posts.



1 Comment

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  1. David C says:

    These drawings put Monet to shame. Well done.

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