Precision Pizzas

Marvel at the precision of the ingredient placement on this Precise Pizza.

Back in the bad-old-days, pizza was assembled with an unacceptable, but unavoidable, lack of precision. Ingredients were scattered on top of the cheese with a truly shocking lack of precision, and even the dough itself was extended with no attempt at precision: the diameter of a pizza could vary as much as 2.3 centimeters from the stated size. Not only was this inexcusably sloppy, it was dishonest.
But now, Precision Pizzas has changed all that. By adapting the pick-and-place machines commonly used to precisely position electronic components on a circuit board, Precision Pizzas is able to place each ingredient to within tolerances of .001 millimeter. “The accuracy of our pizza preparation represents an unprecedented and unambiguous improvement in accurate pizza production,” explains John Ackgerman, manager of Precise Pizzas first store in Chillicothe, Ohio.
One additional benefit to the new machines is that customers can specify their own ingredient layout using the company’s website and mobile app. “Instead of having to deal with pepperoni lying about at random, wherever chance or an inattentive human hand happens to place them, our customers can precisely specify the location of each individual olive, mushroom, or sausage. For an extra fee, customers are even able to custom trim the ingredients, using a CNC router customized for food processing. At last, pizza has truly entered the twenty-first century.”


Photo by Scott Bauer (Public domain), via Wikimedia Commons.


Add a Comment Here (This Means You!):

Your email is safe and will not be published, shared, sold, bought, or used to order doughnuts. Required fields are marked *

Note that, in an effort to prevent comment spam and manipulation by computational bacteria, certain words (including a number of brand names) will prevent your comment from being submitted.

*

© 1915-2017, The Flying News. Not tested on animals. Frontier Theme