Technology: The Z-Phone

The Z-Phone promises to be, not only the latest, but the last word in the world of portable devices. “After all,” boasts a masked and anonymous spokesman for the Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation (UUTC), “there just aren’t any more letters in the alphabet.”
The new Z-Phone includes a number of extremely controversial new features not commonly seen in portable devices. In fact, two government agencies, the HDZ and the QPA, have launched a joint investigation into the device. Perhaps the most controversial element of the new phone is that, in addition to a stun gun, it incorporates a death ray. While the death ray, MortalRay 2.3beta, reduces battery life significantly, Mucius Scaevola, head of public relations for UUTC, thinks that this addition will be an important selling point:
“While we do not condone, promote, enable, or otherwise encourage violence of any sort, our customers demand choice. By including a state of the art death ray, we have taken an important step towards giving them the choices they deserve.”
Operatives of the federal QPA have contacted UUTC to suggest that the Z-Phone be introduced without the death ray feature. Scaevola, however, defends the death ray:
“While I do not intend to make any threats, I think it worth my while to point out that our company headquarters is very heavily defended. In fact, no national government on Earth comes close to matching our armaments. So you’d better think twice—maybe even three times—before you start bothering us about our products.”


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