Conclusive Evidence of Ancient Aliens

Photo by Lynn Locifero, © The Flying News.

For the first time ever, conclusive proof of Ancient Aliens has been found. While excavating a hidden passage underneath the temple of Teotihuacán©, Tot Tibor, xenoarcheologist at the International Hungarian University, discovered a tablet made of a material that proved to be PVC plastic. Inscribed on the plastic tablet was a message composed of punctuation marks which he was unable to decipher until he noticed a key for translating the message into modern English on the back of the tablet. The startling contents of the message are as follows:

BLEEEP: We are ancient aliens from the planet husTAfphel’quiONxjvZ, which you call Kepler-69c. We have arrived on this planet which you call Earth, and which we call phplunxyYW on 25 April 322 BC, as part of our long range planetary survey.
P. S. That Alexander the Great really knows how to party.
P. P. S. We’ll be back. BLEEEP! !

This astounding discovery has the potential to revolutionize the fields of xenoarcheology and xenolinguistics.


2 Comments

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  1. Public Trollius Zizania says:

    While this story is plausible, and indeed corresponds to my deepest beliefs about reality/the universe/the cosmos/whatever, still when I googled International Hungarian University, I did not get any hits. Perhaps you are not checking your sources enough. I’d hate to think that my favorite news source, the Flying News, was deceived by an unscrupulous source or an outright fraud.

    Last year when I was doing some digging at Teotihuacán myself, I did not notice Professor Tibor around. The only thing I was able to dig up was gardenias, which I hid in my pocket, though unfortunately they were lost as my pocket had a hole in it, because my wife had forgotten to sew it. On account of this I was forced to buy a new shirt, blue, which I am wearing still today.

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