A New Categorisation of Holidays

A philosopher from the Arctic Circle known as “Jonathan Tallyhoe” has begun a new line of research into the categorisation of cultural holidays and celebratory festivals. Mr. Tallyhoe, who does not hold any authentic PhD’s that we know of,1 claims he is the first to enter into such territory, while following “a time-tested Aristotelian method.” […]

Horoscopes for the Bactrian

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Aries: Your life blows by like the wind in a hurricane. But don’t worry, eventually it will end. Taurus: Ride around on your bike, fall down, scrape an elbow, get back up, repeat. Gemini: Sometimes you just don’t know if your life is worth living. And then you read your horoscope, and you realise, everything’s […]

What To Do When Your Check Engine Light Comes On

Typical results of aggresive driving.

You’ve had the experience. You’re driving down the highway in your nine-and-a-half-year-old Ferrari, at about mach 3 speed, wind blowing in your hair even though the windows are up, and you see a cute little engine icon pop up on the dash board. Your first thought might be, “Oh, an Easter egg! The manufacturer’s letting […]

New Year’s Day

A really tasty-looking three-layer cake!

If you read this before 6 A.M. on New Year’s Day, you’re probably a) up too late, and b) apparently tired of talking to all the people with whom you spent the last few hours. Why not just go to sleep? After all, nothing changes on New Year’s Day. Oh, yes, you might have to […]

Horoscopes for the Superstitious

Two awards are better than one!

Aries: You will receive an unwelcome visitor, most likely arriving by air. Taurus: In the dead of night, if you’re not asleep, you should be. Gemini: Your future is entirely unpredictable. Cancer: Yes, still sick. Try radiation. Lego: Traumatic brain injury foils your plans for afternoon tea. But there’s always tomorrow. Virgo: To save money […]

Horoscopes for the Improper

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Aries: If you read your horoscope today, it won’t come true. Taurus: If you read Aries’ horoscope today, it won’t come true. Gemini: You’d rather be building a spacecraft. Cancer: Start working on your bucket list. Leo: Oel. Virgo: River deep, mountain high. Libra: Tip the scales, see what happens. Scrappy-o: A bit of a […]

Christmas Parties Take Their Toll

Dead man on couch.

Three weeks before Christmas, on 4 December, Mr. Edgar Rolton was pronounced dead after suddenly collapsing at the very end of a festive holiday party. Several friends tried to resuscitate the man, aged 45, while his wife (widow) looked on in utter grief. Paramedics arrived shortly thereafter but even they failed to resuscitate him. The […]

Horoscopes for the Unemployed

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Aries: πr2 Taurus: Ford, 2001, a little rickety, but still drives. Gemini: Everything looks a little greenish to you. Then you realise it’s the emerald you’re wearing like a monocle. Cancer: Chronic illness, cause uncertain, might well kill ya. Leo: Remember the bloke with the blue bandana? He’s still out to get you. Virgo: Hopeless. […]

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