How To Make A Milk Jug

Several glasses of liquids in various colours.

How to make a milk jug with ordinary materials found in your house Ever feel like you just need a milk jug? If so, you are not alone. And because you are reading this, you are in luck. You can actually make your own milk jug out of ordinary materials found in the average household,1 […]

My Toes Are So Cold

Not many days ago, I woke in the morning and said to myself: “My toes feel rather cold today.” As I found the sensation somewhat—not excruciatingly, only somewhat—disagreeable, I began to look for a remedy for my discomfort. First I sought for knowledge. Knowledge (as someone once whispered in my ear) is power, after all, […]

7 Myths About Bakers – A Flying News Exclusive!

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Rhetorical question #1. Do you like baked goods? Rhetorical question #2. Do you like bakeries? Rhetorical question #3. Do you wear a baker’s hat while you ride your bike in the rain? If you answered “yes” or “no” to any of the above questions, you should read this article. While bakeries are usually good places […]

The Physics of Cutting with Scissors

Long celebrated for its savoir faire, its insouciant elegance, and its bloody habit of guillotining aristocrats, Paris, France is also the undisputed world leader in scissors research. Since its founding more than two-hundred years ago, scientists at the Institut National de Recherche en Ciseaux have made an impressive number of discoveries about the physics, sociology, […]

Is Your Butter Cultured?

There are so many choices for every item in the grocery “superstore” nowadays that you never know what you will come home with. The other day, after getting lost in the supermarket and eventually waking up strewn out on the sidewalk in front of my house/apartment/tent/cave/dwelling, I found a package labelled “Cultured Butter” in my […]

Article Man Rescues Children From Wayward Tongues

Superhero with a scarlet letter A on his chest.

Growing concern among teachers, policemen, and the elderly about fallacious speech habits has spawned a new kind of superhero: Article Man. With a superhero figure, rippling muscles, and sparkling white teeth, Article Man’s mission is to “save these darn children from their own bad language.” But in this case it, isn’t four-letter words he’s concerned […]

New York Newspaper No Longer To Use Four Letter Words

In a landmark blow for linguistic and orthographic equality, a famous New York newspaper has made the decision to eliminate all words of four letters. “For a long time now,” says director of publicity and propaganda Bob Brzezinszki, “we have illegitimately discriminated against a small group of four letter words, to the point of excluding […]

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