The Future from the Past

Chart recorder spewing data.

Surprising Predictions from Past Decades Our roving reporter Ryan Rocifero has been roving again, this time in a sort of time-travel exercise. He has spent nearly a fortnight scouring newspaper columns from the beginning of several decades in the first half of the 20th Century, looking for predictions of “what may come in future decades” […]

A Typical, Everyday Ethical Dilemma

Stop sign for the hearing impaired.

Since I consider myself a bit of an amateur philosopher1 (even if of above average intelligence—that is, above the average intelligence of the average amateur philosopher), today I’d like to introduce you to a hearty helping of good, sound, amateur philosophy. For now, we shall cover just the basics, dear Watson: an everyday scenario that […]

In-Car Pianos

Shortly before three o’clock in the morning last night,1 I was opening up the dashboard in my car, for what reason I cannot now recall. Having uncovered the innards of the vehicle’s control system, I noticed a large number of mechanical buttons or keys, which were linked to some padded hammer mechanisms whose purpose seemed […]

Scientists Discover Historic Blunder: “Lucy” Was Really Named “Suzie”

In an astounding breakthrough, scientists at the International University of West Carolina discovered a longstanding case of mistaken identity: The female skeleton known throughout the world as “Lucy” really belonged to “Suzie”! Three paleontologists, George Kratos, Chiamaka Achieng Afolayan, and Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus, were digging around in Ethiopia. One Tuesday, while listening to “Wake […]

Write Your Own News Story

Miniature Stonehenge created by miniature Druids thousands of years ago.

Good morning, afternoon, or evening, Flying News Reader! Today we have a special treat for you. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. You get to write your own News Story! Yippee! says the Unsuspecting Reader. So here you go. Fill in the blanks—(as you can see, we’ve provided a few details to make it easier): On_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________. […]

More on the Theme Wedding Theme

Last week, we ran an article exploring the phenomenon of theme weddings. Now, we return to that fertile topic with a list of themes—invaluable if a wedding looms in your future; otherwise merely entertaining. First of all, there’s the Barbarian Theme Wedding: For this wedding, the groom dresses up in skins and hits the bride […]

Theme Weddings

From the very name, you can almost certainly guess what a theme wedding is: a wedding with a theme. “But,” you might be inclined to respond, “so what?” If you don’t have any plans for a wedding in the near future, your unthinking reaction could well be to think that a theme wedding is, in […]

Art Review: Studies in Flab and Drooping Skin

Drawing of an old man

By the looks of past exhibits, I’d think artist Jeanine J. Eninaej was a primary school art teacher, exhibiting works by her worst students to wake up the masses to the unfortunate Future of Art in the post-postmodern world. But in fact, she exhibits her very own original “art” at some of the most “prestigious” […]

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