Weapons of Mass Destruction—Postmodern Adaptations

Do you remember the days when you could just walk into a store and buy a jar—no questions asked, no dirty looks, no waiver, no ID, no restrictions. Of course, back in those days—the days when we thought peanut butter was an innocent and entirely harmless food—we used to be unenlightened. Now we’re so much […]

Horoscope Contest Results!

Strange illusory hand building a paper house.

As stated in a previous post, our famous horoscope contest was entirely rigged. So unless you send us your contact info again, we will not be able to award any prizes. A certain Jonathan Axelrod supposedly wrote all the entries, which is what tipped us off to the fact that it was rigged; but here […]

Thursday, My Lucky Day

Anti-Theft windscreen scraper.

Jim: It’s Thursday. Vim: So it is. Jim: Thursday’s my lucky day. Vim: How so? Jim: All kinds of good things happen to me on Thursdays. Vim: Like what? Jim: I got my lucky pants on a Thursday. Vim: How do you know they’re lucky? Jim: Because I got them on a Thursday. And Thursday’s […]

Horoscope Contest Closed

The Flying News Horoscope Contest is officially closed.1 I want to personally2 thank all the readers who submitted horoscopes for the contest. It was truly stunning what you came up with, and if you didn’t enter, then you totally missed out. However, I have some bad news: it appears that the contest was rigged.3 All […]

Man Rescues Radiators from House During Tornado

Radiators sit outside a house turned to rubble by a tornado.

Brian Sortee, 25, of Hampton, became an overnight hero last Tuesday, when a flash tornado hit the home of his next door neighbour, 82-year-old Evelyn Smith, affectionately known to all as “Mrs. Smith.” Sortee was mowing his lawn when he spotted the tornado at a distance, coming straight for Mrs. Smith’s house. “I could tell […]

Tell Us What This Picture Means

HELP US OUT:   In our wanderings, we happened to come across the perplexing image displayed below. The funny thing is, we don’t really understand it. Is it a deeply metaphysical statement? Or perhaps an advertising ploy. It might even be a message from interplanetary visitors. Take a look and tell us what you think. […]

Simulated Windows Save Energy

Shutters in a rainstorm

A new poll from the International Energy Association (IEA) found that about 82% of people would prefer to pay less for electricity. The other 18% must be idiots. But the poll brings up a very good point, which is the desire for more energy-saving devices in the home. And the newest one is so simple, […]

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